Posted on May 19, 2020

 

Today is Tuesday, May 19, 2020.

Tuesday is the day we post new meditations. Usually. But today there is no new practice. I do not share too much personal information here. But, today, I want to share this experience with you all in hopes that you can learn from my journey practicing self care during quarantine.
 
Let me start by saying, I am tremendously grateful for this community. I am filled with true joy when I read the outpouring of positive comments posted every day. I am fortunate to have the opportunity to serve you all in the form of meditation practices. So, thank you for showing up, thank you for practicing with me!
 

Today is the 67th day of “lock down” or quarantine for us in Maryland, similar to so many other areas.

We have all shifted the way we live, the way we shop for groceries, the way we cook and eat meals, the way our children are experiencing school, the way we work, the way we celebrate birthdays and graduations, the way we see doctors, friends, and out of town family members. And the list could go on.

 
My business, a local Pilates and Yoga studio has been closed for 67 days as well. In 67 days, we have created a new business model to continue to employ our staff and serve our clients. We have launched a second YouTube channel to serve more people worldwide.
 

I realized, during quarantine, I had not changed the way I practice self care to reflect all the other changes going on in my life.

I have not taken the time to experience the grief for the loss of the life as I knew it before now. This life from our past will never be the same. We have collectively experienced a trauma, a significant loss.

Yesterday as I was preparing for the first of many appointments I had scheduled on my calendar, as I was going over my never-ending to-do list, it hit me hard. I felt like I was hit in the face with something I should have seen coming. I was overcome with overwhelm. I couldn’t go on like this any longer.

It felt like I was breaking at the seams.

Fortunately, Les was there to catch me as he has in the past. He was there to comfort me, wipe away my tears, and guide me to see what I needed to see. I was not taking care of myself. I was not looking inward to see what I needed at this time. I was not listening to what was truly important to me. I was not connecting with my own heart and my own values.
 
I teach movement and meditation for everyone around me, yet somehow, those basic components of my life had been neglected. A teacher of mine always said, when you think you don’t have an hour for meditation, that is when you need two hours.
 
How could I let this happen? How could I neglect myself to a point of falling apart?
 

Well, I see now what happened.

  • I didn’t give myself the time to adjust to the changes.
  • I didn’t give myself the silence and stillness to experience what I was actually feeling. I worked myself constantly as a distraction.
  • a way to cover the fear of the unknown. Working from home, there were no boundaries.
 
This long message is all to say to you and as a commitment to myself, I am taking what I need for myself. And I hope you will all take the time to do the same. During quarantine, I am going back to the basics of self-care. For me, that is nourishing movement and meditation. I am slowing down and practicing what I teach. My hope is that by sharing the real me, it can provide value for each of you in some way. Here are the movement and meditation practices that I found helpful for me currently.
 
But don’t worry, another meditation will be coming next week!