“It is not easy to find happiness in ourselves, and it is not possible to find it elsewhere.” - Agnes Repplier
THE ART OF LOVING ONESELF
To love who you are means knowing who you are. It’s the foundation for wholeness. When you can truly connect with the person you are deep inside when no one else is around, it can help you gain clarity on who you want to be.
Do you know what matters to you?
What makes your heart begin to beat a little faster when you see or hear it?
What can you offer to others and the world?
I’ve seen many people over the years who are searching for someone else to make their lives whole. Sometimes this comes in the form of a career, or a longing to have a child, but mostly we seek all the things we feel are missing in our romantic partnerships. It’s this “you complete me” illusion that we see so often on screens, hear in song lyrics, and read in books.
Searching for wholeness anywhere other than in yourself is most often a distraction. The illusion of a perfect partner is just that...an illusion. I ask you to consider this because ultimately when you think about it, it’s likely you can recognize that you alone already make a whole person! The only person you need to feel complete is you.
WHERE DO YOU NEED LOVE?
While your mind is daydreaming of an imaginary love or dream life you’re currently lacking, I challenge you to catch yourself in these moments. To gently place your hand over your heart and ask yourself where you need to love yourself more.
This is a beautiful question to practice throughout your day or during quiet moments of meditation. Knowing and loving yourself begins by exploring the inner you.
One of my favorite ways to explore the dark, cobwebbed corners of my mind is through journaling. It allows me to have a two-way conversation between my heart and my mind, and journaling creates a sense of trust and safety to relax and reveal what your heart has been trying to tell you.
So grab a journal, and let’s work to unpack some things on the page together.
Complete the following sentence:
I trust myself ________.
- Most of the time
- Kind of/sometimes
- Not very often
What is a lack of self-trust creating in my life?
Note any that sounds true to you.
- I go back and forth questioning myself before making a decision
- I struggle to finish things and often quit before it’s over
- I let other people take the lead
- I do things that sabotage me from getting what I really want
- I second-guess my decisions to keep myself “safe”
- I make a big deal out of small things that aren’t important
- I make others feel bad to avoid taking blame or responsibility
JOURNALING PROMPTS FOR SELF TRUST
- Think of a situation when your lack of self-trust got in your way. If you could rewind the hands of time, what is something you would go back and do differently?
- How could you apply that small change in the future?
- If you were successful in doing this moving forward, how would it help you trust yourself more?
MEDITATIONS FOR CONFIDENCE & LOVE
Trusting yourself creates an unshakable confidence. A confident person not only sticks with their decisions but the simple ease of being confident in being who you already are significantly reduces stress levels.
Spend uncomfortable moments looking inward. Sit in your own company without noises or distractions, and listen to the whispers coming from your own heart. Taking the time to hear your voice is one of the most precious gifts we can give to ourselves, and no one is going to create the time for you to do this - it has to be you!
“If you want things to look and feel differently...you have to do something different!”
The fastest and most direct path to true self-love is meditation. Meditation takes us into the center of our hearts. It teaches us forgiveness, compassion, and how to love who we already are. A few conscious breaths are all you ever need to change your state of mind and to be reminded that you are worthy of so much, but most of all, self-love.
There is no one more important in your life than you!
Take 5 well-spent minutes and listen to the meditation linked here.
Each of us at our core longs to be loved. To have intimate connections in our lives that make us feel alive, worthy, and important. I hope that through these exercises you will realize that your greatest power is your ability to love your own heart. For more inspiration and guidance on how to bring more love, in all its forms, into your life with ease, schedule a breakthrough coaching session with Nikki HERE.