Why Is It So Hard for Me to Trust Myself or Anyone Else?

Why Is It So Hard for Me to Trust Myself or Anyone Else?  AND How to Build Trust

"Trust yourself. Create the kind of self that you’ll be happy to live with all your life. Make the most of yourself by fanning the tiny, inner sparks of possibility into flames of achievement.”

– Golda Meir

Today we’re talking about a tricky beast over here: TRUST.  Trust is one of the fundamental ideas of mindfulness, encompassing not only trust in your journey and others, but also trust in yourself.  Depending on your history, trusting yourself and others, even a tiny bit, can feel like a monumental task.  However, the experience of trust can positively enhance our lives when we are able to open to the vulnerability of trust.

Placing your care, your emotions, even tasks that must be completed into the hands of others can be scary, daunting, and make you double down as you say, “I’m the ONLY one who can do this the right way.”

And yet, our lives are richer when we can safely practice trust in ourselves, our relationships, and our environments. So how do you begin to trust anything when all you’ve ever known is a lifetime of let-downs?  Just like any other skill, it takes practice and we are here to support you.

Here are three steps to building healthy trust in yourself and others:

1. Lower your expectations. Trusting yourself (at first) means setting tasks for yourself you KNOW you can complete.  Build confidence in your abilities to support your trust in yourself.  If you’re confronting a fear, breaking your actions down into baby steps can help you build a foundation of emotional trust within. For example, if you’ve always wanted to try climbing but are afraid of heights, it makes sense to begin hiking over some low boulders with a buddy for support. As you build your skills and strength, you can trust your body and brain to survive and even enjoy more challenging climbs. Conquering your fear of heights becomes easier when you know you can rely on your muscles and climbing strategy after practicing for several weeks.
2. Slow down. In relationships, trust can be a challenge (especially in the age of oversharing and instant gratification.) When building a new friendship, observe closely how you’re treated and how you treat them. It’s okay to reveal your true self in small increments over weeks and months to see how your new friend responds to the information. Taking small risks (like making the first move to invite someone out to lunch) helps you learn to deal with joy and disappointment along the way--two foundational elements of any relationship. Allowing your connection and sharing to develop over time means you’ll grow more confident in your friend as you keep observing respectful and honest behavior on both sides.
3. Develop boundaries, not walls. Boundaries keep us safe and help us know where we stop and something else begins. Walls (the emotional kind) close you off from people, places, and experiences. Try understanding your limits for caring for or about others, how much of your time you’ll give at work, and when you need space just for yourself. Your boundaries can change and shift each week and month--you can move them around as often as you like and it’s okay. You have full control over your boundaries. Walls don’t have that same flexibility.

More Support for Your Developing Trust

Try this meditation on trust this week, and discover where and how you can expand and develop this essential human capability.  This practice is about building trust in yourself.  Trust that you know what you need better than anyone else.  By building trust in yourself, it can inform your decisions and actions as well as reduce overall stress and suffering.  Developing this quality or capacity during meditation allows you to be skilled at it in other life situations.

Additionally, this month on our social media we are all about building confidence and developing trust goes hand in hand with that quality.  Be sure to join our Facebook group to stay up to date with all of our resources for trust and confidence.

To support your growing self-worth and confidence further on a more personal level, we are excited to announce our new workshop--Hypnotherapy for Building Confidence: so that you can make the changes you desire and get unstuck.

Regain the confidence you desire and deserve so that you can feel comfortable in your own skin, reach your goals with ease, and enjoy the fulfilling relationships you crave.  Join Sara on Saturday, July 31 from 3:00-5:00 pm EST for this event.

I’m trusting you’ll receive precisely what you need this week,

Sara and Les

The Mindful Movement

Additional Resources:

If you are looking to dive into the world of meditation, a great starting point is our 4-Day Meditation Journey. This free program is a great resource for beginners and those looking to step back into the practice of meditation.

Members Oasis for: Unlimited access to all Mindful Movement Meditations and Hypnosis Practices; Exclusive Members Only Content added EVERY month; Practice anytime, anywhere.

Purchase your favorite Meditation and Hypnosis practices from the Mindful Movement. You can download an MP3 file to listen to anytime, anywhere with no internet access necessary.

A personalized hypnotherapy session will can support you in making a change you desire.  It would be my honor to help you through the process of change that you are looking for.

Let us know how we can help.  Please feel to leave a comment with any other suggestions, comments, or questions for the community!