The Voice in Your Head Isn’t Yours—It Was Borrowed

The Voice in Your Head Isn’t Yours—It Was Borrowed

By Sara Raymond | The Mindful Movement

“Shame corrodes the very part of us that believes we are capable of change.”

— Brené Brown

You hear it before you even open your eyes. A quiet, familiar whisper—not supportive, not kind. Just sharp enough to shrink you before your feet hit the floor.

“You should be further along.” “You’re too sensitive.”  “Don’t say that—it’ll make things worse.” “Who do you think you are?”

We may call the voice the inner critic or judge. Or it may feel like a shame spiral. But for many of us, that voice didn’t start inside. It was placed there—word by word, repetition by repetition, until it felt like our own.

It may sound like someone you know, a familiar voice internalized. It may sound like you now. But it didn’t begin with you.

Where the Voice Was Born

Maybe it started with a parent who needed you to be small. A teacher who mistook your curiosity for defiance. A culture that linked your worth to how productive, agreeable, or beautiful you could be.

Whoever it was, they handed you a script. And like all children do, you adapted. You memorized it. Because belonging felt safer than truth. Approval felt safer than authenticity.

Over time, the repetition became belief. The belief became identity. And eventually, you forgot where it came from. You forgot that you once had a voice of your own.

And when that borrowed voice becomes the only one you listen to, shame quietly settles in. Because shame isn’t just a feeling, it’s a story and an identity.

A story that says you are the problem. You are bad or wrong. You are flawed.

But what if the only thing that was ever wrong was the voice you were taught to believe?

This Voice Isn’t Yours to Carry

That harsh, doubting voice? It’s not your truth. It’s not your fault. And it’s not your responsibility to keep obeying it.

It was someone else’s fear. Someone else’s wound. Someone else’s shame—handed down like an heirloom you never asked to receive.

You inherited it or adopted it. But you don’t have to keep it.

This is where self-forgiveness begins. Not with trying to become someone better—but with remembering who you were before the shame took root. Before you believed you had to earn your worth.

Forgiveness doesn’t always arrive as clarity. Sometimes, it’s a quiet moment of saying: I forgive myself for believing the voice that told me I wasn’t enough. I forgive myself for carrying what was never mine to begin with. I forgive myself for buying into the belief that I was flawed.

A Voice That Never Left

Beneath that noise is a deeper voice—wiser, softer, unshakable. It doesn’t measure. It doesn’t rush. It doesn’t judge.

It lives in sensation more than thought. It speaks in compassion, in intuition, in presence. It says: This is who I am. And I am still good.

That voice may be quiet. You may not hear it at first over the ones you’ve been taught to trust. But it has never left you.

And every time you choose to pause, to listen, to turn inward rather than outward—you strengthen it. You return to it. You come home to yourself.

A Practice to Support You

If you’re ready to quiet the borrowed voice and return to the one that’s always known your worth, begin here:

Meditation to Come Home to Your True Self 

Let it be a soft remembering. A place to listen—not to the loudest voice, but to the truest one.

Want to Rewrite the Story Playing in Your Mind?

My book, You’re Not Broken, is a gentle invitation to unlearn the shame-based stories you never chose—and reconnect with the voice that always belonged to you.

Because the critic was inherited. But your worth is inherent because you are you. And forgiveness—true forgiveness—starts when you remember that truth.