“You have been criticizing yourself for years and it hasn’t worked. Try approving yourself and see what happens.”
— Louise Hay
“If only I had more confidence, I would…”
How many times have you thought this very statement or something like it? Maybe your self-doubt made you:
- Pass on applying for a promotion (I don’t think I’m qualified)
- Hesitate to ask someone out on a date (they’re out of my league)
- Bow out of an exciting adventure (I’ve never done that before, something bad will happen!)
- Skip the purchase of a vibrant and colorful new outfit (it looks good on the mannequin, but I could never carry it off.)
- Stay in a toxic relationship (what if they leave if I speak up about how I feel?)
- Charge way less than your value in your business (If I raise my prices, I’ll lose customers!)
Developing self-confidence after years (a lifetime?) of doubting your feelings, skills, experience, or even your very reality can feel like a mountain you’ll never summit.
The build-up of external and internal critical voices over the years is real and often crippling to every human on earth (even the ones who seem to have it all together on social media! Spoiler alert: They don't!) And yet, we require a healthy dash of self-confidence to get anywhere in life. To grow beyond our circumstances, to reach for health and well-being, to live a life that is more than quiet desperation.
Confidence is the ability to believe we can be, do, and have what we want, even when the way seems unclear or unsure.
When we’re confident, we become able to do the next right thing even when the outcome is not guaranteed.
We know we won’t die of shame or embarrassment for trying and sometimes failing--that if we get a “no” to our request, it’s not the end of the world, and we keep moving boldly forward until we get the “yesses” we seek (or something even better.) We might even be able to say, "So what," to that no given to us.
So how do we become confident?
Certainly, there are many angles to developing self-assuredness and courage. But, the primary way to begin may be to change the beliefs that stopped your confidence from growing in the first place.
Most of us may remember a time as a child when we felt 10 feet tall and bullet-proof. We were invincible at the top of the playground slide or stood triumphantly with arms raised at the top of the steep hill we climbed, as King or Queen of the mountain.
Many of us can also remember well the critical messages we received from a teacher, a parent, or a coach. Though often well-meant, those messages can stay with us and influence our confidence (or lack of it) for life.
One of my clients remembers her basketball coach who said “watching you run is like watching water freeze!” That critical message stays with her today whenever she walks or runs outside and tells her she’s never fast enough (good enough?) in her body.
Another client shared that their 3rd-grade teacher constantly put them down publicly in class--making them feel ashamed and like a continual failure.
“Don't waste your energy trying to change opinions ... Do your thing, and don't care if they like it.”
―
Those messages get stored in our bodies (in the same way that big “T” trauma does) and can affect our actions, mindsets, and emotions for decades after they occur.
Overcome the confidence blocks in your life:
On July 31st, I’ll be leading a 2 hour online workshop that will empower you for 21-day self-hypnosis protocol. The workshop and the following 21 days will help you overcome the confidence blocks in your life (like those early self-critical beliefs.)
Join me for my 21-Day Mini-Course: Hypnotherapy for Building Confidence, and let’s get to the bottom of your limiting beliefs so that you can reach for the:
- work promotion you deserve
- healthy relationships that fulfill you
- permission to take up space in the world
- focus and clarity to make good decisions for yourself and your loved ones
- ability to use your voice proudly and shamelessly
Learn more and reserve your spot HERE. I’m excited to help you regain the confidence you desire and deserve so that you can feel comfortable in your skin, reach your goals with ease, and enjoy the fulfilling relationships you crave.
We begin our confidence-building journey on July 31st and I hope you'll join us!
Sara and Les
The Mindful Movement
Additional Resources:
If you are looking to dive into the world of meditation, a great starting point is our 4-Day Meditation Journey. This free program is a great resource for beginners and those looking to step back into the practice of meditation.
Members Oasis for: Unlimited access to all Mindful Movement Meditations and Hypnosis Practices; Exclusive Members Only Content added EVERY month; Practice anytime, anywhere.
Purchase your favorite Meditation and Hypnosis practices from the Mindful Movement. You can download an MP3 file to listen to anytime, anywhere with no internet access necessary.
A personalized hypnotherapy session will can support you in making a change you desire. It would be my honor to help you through the process of change that you are looking for.
Let us know how we can help. Please feel to leave a comment with any other suggestions, comments, or questions for the community!